The Code Killer Shop

By Truman Harris III

What are you waiting for? You’ve been suppressing your feelings for far too long. That tough conversation is long overdue. I think you’ll be surprised by the relief you feel. As a matter of fact, I know you will. It’s time to let it all out, but only if you can trust him/her, though. Shouldn’t your loved one have the opportunity to really know you? No more hiding.

I really like being vulnerable with my wife and exposing my shortcomings and insecurities. It strengthens me; it strengthens us as a unit. I really enjoy exposing the lies of the enemy and destroying his plans for our destruction. I’ve come a long way from desiring to believe those lies to satisfy my selfish or fleshly desires. It’s been said reality is nine-tenths perception. Those trials that come will destroy us or be destroyed by us as a result of our agreement. Is my focus on overcoming the obstacle or being overcome?

I can say that I am reaping the fruit of many tough conversations. Many long nights of talking, going to sleep at 4 am, and working at 6. I hated those nights. That feeling of distance from my wife was the worst. I wanted to rush to a conclusion; however, sometimes that time was just what we needed to process our problem and resolve it, then come back together in unity. We had to learn to work as a team.

My delivery for the latest convo started with: “Honey, I love you. I’m telling you this because I want to protect what we have. I don’t want you to take any responsibility for the feelings that I am having.” I have the option to sit on how I feel, be unhappy, and possibly become passive-aggressive as I stew or let it out in a loving way. She trusts my heart. That took time to build. If I let it out, I free myself, enlighten her, and strengthen us.

Many people hold on to info given in these conversations and use them as ammo in the next fight. It is essential that trust is built. I have to humble myself to listen and not be moved by my own emotion. I must never use this sensitive info as a weapon. I have in the past and would do things a different way today.

I would also encourage the intentions and purpose to be pure before sharing sensitive issues. Make sure it’s for the best interest of the relationship and not an attempt to manipulate your spouse. If it is, they will be wary of the next talk for sure. The only way resolution will occur is if there is honesty.

In conclusion, it’s time to come out of hiding. Love conquers all. God will bless your effort as you put your trust in Him.